Like most of you mortals, I have no idea if the dead can or can’t listen to us, but either way, I’ll go with the former, hoping that we’ll shake hands and wave our peace signs with Joseph Thomson at the end of this tale.
So, hey Thomson. Look, since you got a falls named after you, and did those other things only a wild naturalist would do - like taking a walk from Mombasa to Lake Victoria, a lot has happened man. A lot.
We’ve got this little magical thing called the internet. Things have never been the same since its coming. If you woke up now, things like climate change, 5G cancer conspiracies, or WikiLeaks might shock you back into death again.
Even leave alone the internet, we’ve got Google - educated folks like you call it a tech behemoth- then we’ve got Google local guides. You can call us that, haha!
Now, on the 18th of October, four of us took a trip, right from Nakuru to this falls not far from Nyahururu, named after you. Thomson Falls, they call it that to this day. You must have discovered a lot about it, hehe. So sweet. Thanks for that.
Oh, fellow readers who’ve never heard about Nyahururu or have no idea where it sits, this is a lightweight town north-west of Nakuru. Three of us call Nakuru home, except Wayne, who traveled all the way from…waaiiit…Kisumu. That’s a teenage city west of Nakuru, and he sat in a van for two….sorry….three hours, to get here, then drove with us for another hour and three naps to get to this lovely falls.
The gods of adventure are pleased, Wayne. Haha.
It’s a warm Saturday with plenty of sunshine to keep us sunbaked. Humanity, complete with all its races is here to marvel at Thomson’s sweet discovery, making the place look more colorful than a packet of candies. To get in here, you’ll have to part with KES 50 (that’s what, $0.5?), or put simply, a tiny box of fruit candy. Imagine that. Ridiculously cheap, right? You can take the trail down to where the imposing falls is (hell of an adventure this one) or watch it from this viewing point alongside other nice people from around the world.
Imagine massive running waters that seem lost only to find an edge that leads into a rocky and dark gorge over seventy feet below. Poor Ewaso Ng’iro River. Anyway, she had to take a dive all the way to the ravine below and now we have a beautiful falls to look at and be happy.
From the viewing point, the water gushes out loudly as it plunges down all those feet, as if scared of the unimaginable pain that awaits when she hits her back on the rocky earth under, not to mention that the journey has to continue, and the war too, because there’s pollution ahead and it doesn’t care doing bad things to her either.
At the feet of the fall- a hike that takes you what? One song? And it’s complete with non-slippery concrete steps and black metal barriers on the sides that lead straight into the falls. You’ll meet adventure in all its splendor here.
You’ll stare at the falls in all her magnificence, as Tyron Lannister would look at an angry Thanos. Another step close to Thomson’s Falls brings you deeper into her cold moisture and loud harmless thundering of helpless waters maneuvering through wet, dark and colored rocks with the determination of a Hong Kong protester.
Be warned that at this time you’ll probably be almost completely wet from the moisture and you’ll be wiping your face without stopping just to steal glances at Thomson’s little discovery.
When the fun is over, there will be a small climb waiting and since you’ll be climbing up, a sizeable portion of your energy and moans will be used up on the way. But you’ll find yourself back to civilization shortly.
Outside the gates, curio shops line up, like a guard of honor, serving you the best of artistic curios and carvings of all sorts, among other things that are rich in African heritage. Get one or two or as many as you can, if you can. They will look good in your home or office, and you’ll look decent, mature, and deep. Haha! Not bad, right?
Oh, and there’s a terrific eatery and lodge too right next to the falls (Thomson’s Falls Lodge), and they serve all the foods that would wet your appetite. Even better, you can bask in their super green nicely-paved outdoors, and order and have your chicken sandwich and lemon tea from the tents.
That was it, ladies and gents. Memories were made and as local guides, we are proud and super happy to have ticked off one item off our bucket list.
Back to you Thomson. Let’s face it, has anyone ever enjoyed and soaked in the beauty of this watery wonder like we did? Noo? I thought so too. Haha!
Uhm….I have a little favor to ask from you though Joseph. Can we now change the name to Nyahururu falls? I know that’s a lot to ask, I know, haha, take your time sir. Anyway, thanks for taking the time to listen. And you too fellow reader. Much appreciated.