Last year I really needed a vacation and a break from the daily pressures of life.
It was about 9 months after the birth of our third child. Our baby was home with us, which meant that when I was at work my husband was with the baby and I hurried back home the second I could so that he could get to his job, and vice versa. I had returned to my part time job only 6 weeks after giving birth, and my body and spirit were hardly recovered. They both felt broken to be honest. Months of this daily stressful routine did not do us good.
Come springtime of last year, our youngest was 9 months old and started going to daycare. Though logically, you’d think I would feel relieved and calmer, but I really didn’t. I had a strong need to get away from it all. With my husband’s blessing, I called up a couple of friends which I thought I would enjoy being on a short vacation abroad with. One of them just came back from a family vacation abroad, one of them did not feel she could leave her 3 young kids alone with her husband, and one of them could not afford a vacation at that time. I was all out of friends that I wanted to spend this much needed break from my daily life with.
I looked into a women’s group trip to Romania which seemed like a good match for me, but it cost more than what I was willing to pay at that time. So there I was, in need of some alone time, and then I got the idea to really get alone time. Could I really do this? Go on vacation, alone?
At first, fear and self doubt came in. “This doesn’t make sense, I don’t know of anyone doing this alone, and what would I even do there alone? Would I enjoy myself or just feel sad and guilty for leaving my family to vacation by myself…? This is a foreign country, they speak a different language and this seems unsafe”.
Then logic and self assurance showed up – something like “this is Europe, you’re 36, it’s 2018 and you will have a smart phone and internet with you. You’ve graduated from University, you have a family, a job, you can do this”.
To push fear aside for good, I just ordered a plane ticket. I looked for a European city, because I wanted the flight to be not very long. I wanted to land at my destination during daylight to feel safer when first arriving at a new place unknown to me. And somehow, I found a convenient flight to Budapest, Hungary. I knew, basically nothing about Budapest. Let me tell you, I landed good. The city is beautiful, easy to travel in and find things to do. I could not believe that just a 3 hour inexpensive flight from my home was this amazing place, so different then my home and daily life. Why isn’t everyone doing this?
On that trip, the magic of being alone happened to me. I remembered things that I used to enjoy when I was a teenager and forgot about somewhere down the road of a hectic groan up life. I remembered I used to write and journal, ride a bicycle through the park. I remember that I am more social and fun and easy going then the tired mom I had been for the past 8 years.I remembered what it’s like to spend time doing nothing guilt free, to try new experiences I had always wanting to try at home but for some reason never found the time, but mostly the courage, to try them out alone – like a sketching class, a sup lesson, a Nia dance class and a food tour. On these experiences, I met locals and travelers. It was nice to meet new interesting people and learn new things, and also nice to have a day of no talking at all.
I came back from that trip different. Although the stress and tiredness of my life quickly caught up with me, but some of the courage and adventurous spirit that I had re-found in myself alone abroad came back to me and stayed. And if I lose it I find it easier to look back and that Budapest trip of mine and remind myself “you had fun in Budapest alone, you can do this”… whatever challenge “this” would be on that day. Six months after that trip I went on another solo trip to Rome, Italy, and have booked another trip to Amsterdam, Holland for this June.
Google Maps was a major part of my trip abroad. It had a positive impact on me when feeling afraid of flying alone to a foreign county. It helped me plan out my trip and the experiences I wanted to have when on it, where to go and where not go. I read reviews, saved places of interest to me, navigated, and looked up places I wanted to visit on Google street view to feel safer.Most of all, it gave me a feeling of confidence, calmness and bravery, that I have information and I will be fine. Even if there will be a hardship on this trip, I will find my way and manage.
If you need a break from life and think you could use a vacation I encourage you to consider a solo trip. It can be far away or close to home in your own country. For me it was therapeutic, empowering and a new hobby to look forward to.
. I am happy that my kids see that I am brave to tackle things on my own.